Random – Wow, she managed to get her whole fist in there…
Got back in last night from a fishing trip up north, and I’ve brought back the worst case of blue balls with me. Not because the trip was particularly arousing (although that would add a whole new level of awkward to staying in a wool shed with 12 middle-aged men), but because I spent 10 full days running around boats, pulling up anchors, free-diving up to 6 hours each day, and then collapsing into a sleeping bag mere inches away from other men.
Not much of an opportunity even for a sneaky fap
And then to top it all off, on the way home I’m stuck in the back of a ute for 12 hours with nothing to do but read Zoo magazines. Serious withdrawal symptoms were kicking in – you know things are getting pretty bad when you start to hallucinate and get stomach aches. Atleast I had something to use as a pillow though – the old man just assumed I was leaning on a flesh-coloured beanbag.
Faye Reagan and her schoolgirl outfit; the source of muchcrab-walking from my room
I think “addiction” might be a strong word, but I have to admit that there is certainly a long and loving relationship between the Ginge and adult films. Most men I know treat pornography like their dog’s pooper-scooper: a handy tool to make a “dirty” job a little easier, but not exactly something you want to bring out at Sunday lunch. This view of pr0n is tragically medieval (medieval porn….. hmmm, buxom wenches….. whoa! getting distracted). Classy poon is more like a Ferrero Rocher with strawberry ice cream – a tasty treat to be enjoyed after dinner and shared with friends at fancy parties.
There was porn for every occasion on there – everyday run-of-the-mill shorts; a fine selection of feature films catering to all tastes, for those special “dinner for one” nights; a shush folder exclusively for sharing at LANs (why let poon go to waste just because it’s not YOUR cup of tea); and a range of “comedy porn” (have a giggle while you jiggle). There was even porn renamed and kept quarantined until just before a LAN – stuff you could drop into the general folder, then sit back to watch the reactions. I can proudly say my malicious use of porn has scarred an entire year group of uni students who all now fear going to sleep, least they see another horse wang in their dreams.
Blowjob… blowjob… big boobs… nurses… HOLY MOTHER OF ZEUS!DO NOT WANT! DOOO NOOOOT WAAAAANT!
So long, fair hard drive – your loss was ball breaking. There is an interesting upside to being so hard on the horn though: randomness skyrockets. The amount of random shit coming out of my mouth in the last 24hrs has been astounding. Maybe I’d been binging on “Ferreros” abit much before, and it left me drained and boring… who knows, but I’d be surprised if you’re still reading this anyway. Regardless, I’m back again and systems can resume their usual operation.
Which means I’m off to see if the pirate wenches of “SS Brabuster” and the mighty Lesbos armarda can defeat the defenceless crew of “Pinky’s Revenge” and their trusty leader Captain Stabbin’.
My money is on Captain Stabbin’ coming out on top.
See what I did there?
Pirates II – The 4 Disc Collectors SetBecause 3 discs of pirate porn simply wasn’t enough
Goddamn I need to let off some steam…
There are 4 Comments to "Random – Wow, she managed to get her whole fist in there…"
Pirates one looks like a keeper! lol
How do you think im feeling over here
http://www.noob.us/humor/money-porn/
That money porn was fantastic – mommy’s got yellow fever!
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