News – More than a candle for the fallen
As many of you will be aware April 17th was a solemn day for many.
It is a day when we reflect on the tragic loss of life that has continued unabated since it first began on that dark day in 1993. The body count steadily climbs each year, and yet there are many in our society that refuse to acknowledge the threat – blinding themselves to the undeniable danger, and in turn risking the lives of themselves and their friends and family through their naivety. It is a tragedy so often repeated by those touched by the ever present threat we acknowledge every April 17th.
But while candle lit vigils have been occurring across the globe, one intrepid group of students decided it was not enough. Taking their lessons from documentaries such as Jurassic Park, the eternal wisdom of xkcd, and citing the intensive and ongoing experiments being conducted into raptor attacks – these fine young Samaritans decided to try and make a difference. And like all good academics suffering from this unique form of clinical lycanthrophy, they ran a full-length seminar series to tell everybody about it.
Courtesy of The West Australian, Inside Cover – 17th April, 2009
Abstract submissions covers all major facets of the global velociraptor threat, with in-depth analysis in lectures such as “A brief history of the Raptor Jesus”, “Necesary Modifications to Zombie/Velociraptor contingency plans in the event of catastrophic hybridization”, “Mathematical Derivation of Velociraptor Inescapability”, and our very own toothsoup kindly presented his research regarding the use robots, David Bowie, a labyrinth, and dino porn to protect our cities from flying feathered velociraptors.
Raptor Jesus – An entrepreneur of biblical proportions
Ofcourse, always eager to lend my name to a worthwhile cause, yours truly presented the opening lecture of the seminar series entitled “More than a 6 foot turkey: An in-depth analysis of the global Velociraptor threat” under the pseudonym of Proffessor Teabus McBaggus. I discussed the various impact velociraptors have on humans, such as:
- Their role in the hyper-inflation of Zimbabwe’s economy,
- How they now run our national telecommunication companies,
- Disguise themselves in top-hates & trench coats,
- Can only be identified by making them watch Titanic to see if they cry
NB: Only robots and velociraptors don’t cry at the end of Titanic, in which case you should destory them before lest they enslave your world or evicerate your family.
The full series of lectures should be available on YouTube in the coming week (and subsequently posted here), but in the mean time be dazzled by the majesty of my powerpoint skillz below, only to then cringe in horror at the truly tragic stop-motion film screened during the mid-seminar interlude.
Just remember kids – Don’t fall asleep, the raptors will get you