Menstrual Mondays – PETA – Preventing Everyone from Tasting Armadillo
Now given the number of references made on this tiny piece of electronic real estate to various animals dying violent deaths (often involving Chuck Norris or Sarah Palin), or eradicating entire species based on the absurd idea that they may have fascist tendencies; you may have incorrectly assumed that I don’t like animals.
I love the narrator in the final seconds – “Poor Bambi”
And while I do warn people not to trust penguins, it’s not like I’m running around saying “fuck whales, they don’t have souls”. All animals have their place, and that place is directly under me on the food chain (particularly fresh Manatee – there’s something about being shaped like a big grey Twinky that makes them taste extra sweet). But I do get conservation groups – they love animals, they want to save species from extinction, maintain biodiversity, ect, ect. And I commend most of them for what they do. WWF, Greenpeace, Sea Shepherd – they’re all out there raising awareness and trying to protect our planet and the animals on it.
Unfortunately there’s one group of people out there that seem to have disconnected with reality, and forgotten that animals are not, infact, human. And given their latest campaign, have also forgotten that no one actually gives a fuck about kittens – unless they’re speaking pidgin english.
to some sort of half-aborted love child of Madonna and Jon Heder
PETA have recently started a campaign against people eating fish, claiming that if the word “Fish” was replaced by “Sea Kittens”, people would be less likely to eat fish. Now I don’t know about the rest of you, but when I look at a fish (an actual fish) the last thing I think it looks like is a fucking kitten. But maybe that’s the point……
Maybe I’d eat more fish though if they did look like kittens. It’s not been mentioned before but while I’ll never smoke, I am a social kitten-huffer (only when I’m drinking). It’s not a common practice here in Australia anymore, but it is making abit of a Renaissance. For those of you new to kitten-huffing though, it is the ancient practice of consuming a kitten’s soul – generally by cupping your hand’s around the kitten’s head and sucking the soul out through it’s mouth/nose.
This dude has been hot-huffing WAAAAAAAY too many Bengal kittens
Long-time huffers will tell you that there are side-effects, but as long as you play it safe by sticking with garden variety kittens and don’t try anything too experimental. Be careful with huffing cheetah (fastest huff in the world), and Chuck Norris is the only person to ever survive the fabled “Lion huff”. But stick to common browns or even the treasured orange kitten, and it’s is a fun and relatively safe way to get high.
So, my question is – Will PETA’s campaign lead to an increase in kitten-huffing? Or will it instead spawn a whole new underground movement of “Sea-kitten-huffers”, trying to escape the clutches of reality by snorting a sea bass, then chasing Ariel and Sebastian into their underwater wonderland.
What’s blue, has 6 arms, and will fuck up
your day at the beach?
There are 1 Comments to "Menstrual Mondays – PETA – Preventing Everyone from Tasting Armadillo"
I always support the cause of PETA.`.-