Random – Episode 3: Gu Gu strikes back
Just a quick warning: I finally picked up a newspaper for the first time in about 2 years, so expect a flurry of “hip” and “topical” posts as opposed to my usual poorly informed abuse of things normal people forgot existed.
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When are people going to finally learn to fear Pandas? Sure they’re furry and look adorable, like big greyscale teddy bears. But have no doubts: given the chance, a giant panda will beat you like a red-headed step-child then rape your dog. I’ve tried to spread the word on how deadly a properly trained panda can be (I hope you snort rat poison, Jack Black – lethal ninja Pandas were my idea), but it seems people still aren’t getting the message.
Here’s a handy hint – don’t climb into the enclosure with the Pandathat has already developed a taste for human blood
Funniest thing is they had to pry the panda’s jaws off the guy’s leg with tools, because the furry one was so locked on. I’m guessing Gu Gu feels pretty cheated: he was sure that after two previous attempts, third time would be a charm and he’d get a proper meal.
Don’t mess with pandas people, or they’ll mess with you.
Even when you’re drunk.
Even when you’re drunk.