Need to take the family somewhere? Get a people mover
Need to drive to work in the city? Get a small hatch-back
Need to tow a trailer or caravan while travelling? Get Hilux or a Landrover
Like off-roading and covering your car in mud? Get a proper 4×4

And it’s not that I don’t see the purpose of large or high-powered vehicles like F250′s or F650′s, but what possible reason could some douchebag – who works in an office all day then changes into his flannel shirt and truckers cap to drive home – have for driving one of these gargantuan displays of compensation? (ofcourse unless he had actually been diagnosed with cryptorchidism – then knock yourself out)

But don’t think that rice-cooking sports cars are any better. Don’t even get me started on street racers – the number of times I wish I was sitting on an overpass with a Charley G.

Street Racers – All I feel for you is the recoil

It might seem I’m singling out the Ford Super Duty series, but it’s probably because they’re the most easily recognised, and also because they’re the most likely to be driven by rednecks who keep their wives at home in the trailer while she pumps out more little “miracles” who’ll eventually grow up and buy their own leviathan lumps of horseshit with a Ford badge.

Not that there’s anything wrong with that…..

The main problem I have with “Full Size” trucks is the market they’ve created – the few people who need these vehicles are fine (like tow-truck operators, fire-fighters and the fucking Power Rangers), but it’s the dipshits who buy one because they want other soccer mum’s to comment on “how big” their truck is that I hate – I hope you back over your own child.

But God help you if you try and show them the error of their ways. A cursory glance at the comments to this article on the costs of running an F-250 make it pretty clear that these are not your everyday petrol-sniffing hicks we’re talking about: these people may have learnt how to read, and they think they have a basic grip on math. They also use big words like clinched and situation…..

“If people like Clayton would pull their heads from their tightly clinched rear they might understand the situation a little bit better….. You bash them for being self centered as you go along being a judgmental prick. Do you stalk these truck drivers?”

Yup, good job Alex (by the way, I’d rather drown my dog with my bare hands than name a kid Alex) . I’m certain the author is going to take your thoughts onboard now that you’ve shown just how well you can relate to each other. I’m also sure suggesting the guy is a stalker will encourage him to take your positive feedback and apply it to his next article. I bet your the kind of guy who puts a bull bar on your F-250 too, just to make sure you kill the passengers of the Honda Civic you drive over and not just permanently maim them.

Bull-bars on raised F-250′s : for when you just have to you win that head-on collision

And so, before I leave you all again waiting with baited breath for my next post, I’d like to mention a little something. While I love getting my rage on, one of the downsides of writing blog posts on the Ginge is that I actually have to go out and research the things that piss me off, and occasionally I come across websites so retarded I feel a little brain-damaged myself just for having come across them, case in point.

Follow the above link, I dare you.
And if you do, I direct your attention to the vehicle description – specifically the quote “We are hard core and we don’t take prisoners…”

Congratulations dipshit, you’re hardcore. Let me know when you and your buddy decide to rejoin the human race, and I’ll send you both a tailor-made letter bomb to make sure you don’t ever share the same water supply as me or anyone else I know. In the mean time, do us all a favour: put down the digital camera, stay away from the local library’s internet connection, and stop stealing my oxygen.

Oh, and for those unwilling to click the above link for fear of retardation, I recommend the video below instead. If you want, you can pretend it’s just two machines playing tug-of-war, instead of two fully grown-men trying to see who’s truck is more powerful.